When you've messed things up
It's taken me a long time to realize - almost nobody cares when you screw something up. Well, people often care, but just a little. And really just in that moment. What really matters is how you own those mistakes and what you do moving forward. That's how you identify a real leader and someone who cares about what they are doing and who they are doing it with/for.
I started one of my corporate jobs in September or October, and was relatively new when the holidays came around - so I was one of the few people in the office around Thanksgiving and Christmas. During one of those ghost town breaks, I worked with our agency partner to send out a newsletter to our customers. The newsletter was a regular task; I was new-ish, but our agency partner was long-established so it wasn't a stretch to have me lead the effort.
Well, we sent it out with a broken link. We identified the problem immediately, and my heart sank - my first big deal, working on my own, messed it up - it was bad. It felt bad. I got on the phone with the agency, we fixed the link, sent out the new newsletter with a friendly "oops" subject line, and carried on with our day. The next day, I set up a meeting with the agency, the ops team, and me - we talked about what went wrong, we set up a process to check (double check & triple check) in the future, and then we closed the meeting.
My agency partner was sooooo apologetic, and my response was - we're good, things happen. It wasn't on purpose; we fixed it quickly, and I know it likely won't happen again. I wrote a note to my boss explaining what happened, how we fixed it, the plan to prevent it from happening again, and hit send. She quickly replied - thanks for the update, good work, enjoy your holiday.
Fast forward to after the holidays - my boss and I were catching up, and she shared a note from our agency about that incident. Here's what she shared:
Laura and I worked on the broken link issue after we sent out the newsletter in November - while I was profoundly sorry for the trouble, Laura was filled with grace and not at all interested in finger pointing. She worked decisivly to identify the problem, fix the link, reissue the email, and prevent future occurences.
I've been in this business a long time, and Laura's actions and reactions were a testiment to her leadership and I am very happy to be working with her as we move forward.
This was a real growth moment for me. Apparently, lots of partners blame agencies for every issue that comes up - and expect contrition and groveling in exchange for forgiveness. That's not my style. I don't expect perfection - but I do require accountability. We don't need to point fingers, but we do need a plan to move forward, preventing the next time whenever possible.
I was well into my 30s before I was able to let down my guard and stop making excuses when I made a mistake. It was early in my 40s when I was confident enough to admit mistakes without explaining the reason. Today, I am in my 50s, and I am ready, willing, and eager to share my failures as a solid example of shit happens. I've learned far more from my failures than I have ever learned from my successes.
Here are three things that have served me well as a leader when things go awry:
Take responsibility. Openly own the mistake without shifting blame or minimizing its impact. Use direct language, say "I was wrong," and fully explain your role in what happened.
Communicate the path forward. Share what you learned and outline concrete steps for correction and improvement. Being timely and transparent about what comes next will build trust and show commitment to progress.
Invite collaboration and feedback. If you know anything about me, you know I am crazy for feedback! Engage your team in forming solutions and ask for their input to prevent a repeat issue. Demonstrate collaborative leadership as a way to involve and strengthen the entire team after a mistake.
It's worth noting, publicly working through YOUR mistakes as a leader is very different from publicly shaming someone else who screwed up. This approach isn't for everyone. You need to demonstrate your vulnerability. It's likely that if you do this with grace and humility, others will follow and grow with you. But you should never force another into this process. This is for true leaders - who are confident in their leadership.
Own it, fix it, move on - it's a powerful way to move forward in life and especially in business.
