Let them - let me - Laura's Take

Let them say whatever

Every journey – especially the one that results in growth - comes with background noise. Sometimes, the chatter is quiet, maybe just a comment from someone who doesn’t really know the whole story. Other times, it’s louder, and it feels and sounds like doubt or criticism from a distance. As human beings, our default is to tune in, to change course, or to shrink back. But here’s the truth: most of the time, nobody is paying any attention to you.  They aren’t watching and scrutinizing every move or misstep. They are busy worrying about their own mistakes and perceptions. 

The person being critical of every little thing isn’t them – she’s you, and it’s time to stop.

Recently, I’ve embraced Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory

The Let Them Theory is a shift in mindset. The core lesson? When someone criticizes, doubts, misunderstands, or gossips, let them. Don’t waste your energy defending or controlling the narrative. Releasing the urge to manage other people’s opinions is not a sign of apathy, it allows you to reclaim your time, your self-respect and your own power. The reality is you can't win if you keep trying to change them. It's exhausting and usually fruitless.

In her book, Mel Robbins takes it a step further: after let them, comes let me. And I LOVE this extra step.  She suggests we all focus on how we respond.  Decide what we can change, or what truly matters to us. This is where our power comes from.  We get to choose how to respond, not react.  When we try to manage everyone else’s opinions, it often leads to burnout or self-doubt. Honoring our own value and worth leads to true happiness and fulfillment. 

And really – what they think DOES NOT MATTER.  Who cares what strangers think?  Why are you responding to those who aren’t your family, your friends, your clients or even in your real life?  You don’t need to, it’s a waste, and you have better things to do!

They’re not looking at you! 

Here’s something that can be life-changing: we all think others are paying far more attention to us than they actually are. Research suggests that people regularly overestimate how much others think about them. Unless someone is directly affected by a situation or in frequent contact, they often aren’t thinking about us at all. Most people, like us, are wrapped up in their own inner world, their own worries, and their own insecurities.

You Are Your Toughest Critic

Often, the person judging most harshly is the one in the mirror. Our inner critic lingers over each mistake, every awkward moment, and magnifies every doubt. But this self-criticism rarely aligns with an outside perspective. Other people are likely to notice only a fraction of what’s bothering you - if they notice at all. It’s like they say – you’re the only one who notices these flaws!  Give yourself some grace.  You are doing alright. 

What makes you valuable is not how perfectly you avoid criticism, but how authentically you live and grow. I know authentic is a buzzword – but really, in this case it matters.  When you show up with your gifts and talents, the people you want to attract will arrive.  The Let Them Theory says we should honor our authenticity.  It says I will take responsibility for my impact, my energy, and my decisions.

Growth thrives in authenticity, not in the anxious pursuit of pleasing everyone else.

Protect your peace by choosing your response – or not responding; but mainly by not trying to co-opt their opinion.

Here are a few thoughts to wrap up this post:

•         Recognize when feedback is helpful and let the rest fall away.

•   Define your priorities and deliver what feels right FOR YOU, not what will get the most applause.

•          Be grateful for your strengths and opportunities, others be wrong about you.

•          Let doubters talk and critics criticize. 

The real story is rarely happening out there. It’s being written here, with every step taken toward your best life.